with finals coming up... postings have kind of slowed down... so sorry to all you people who have been wondering what i've been up to lately. trust me... lots to tell... just no time to do it all. finals end on the 29th, so expect a flood of posts after that.

note: there are still a load of pics from the prom that i am yet to upload... so wait a couple of weeks before you see the rest kay?

well... as the title suggests... trinity is coming to an end. i know i've been yapping on about it for weeks, but it's official now! graduation is in TWO WEEKS! most times i don't know whether to jump in celebration, or baracade in a corner and cry. classes ended last week with drama exams concluding this one. it's like everytime i see my teachers, i can't help but wonder whether it will be the last time. teachers like patricia, ian, pat... those who've made the biggest impact on my time here... those who have bent over backwards to help me get to where i want to go... the thought of saying goodbye, seems like too little a gesture to make up for all that they've done. patricia's son kaspar has been my playing buddy every friday this semester. for the past 5 months i've watched him grow and learn how to walk, talk (and drool ;p) and even draw, and after leaving my weekly meeting with his mom this afternoon, i was saddened by the thought that he's going to do lots more growing... just without me around to watch and make sure he doesn't stick a pen in his mouth ;p

that having been said, kids like kaspar and hafiz act as my motivation to do paediatrics. over the last 10 years i've seen my little brother overcome and accomplish amazing things. things that, in all honesty, i couldn't survive through. and yet he still gets up everyday with a cheeky smile on his face, eager to challenge anyone who dares. even at the age of one, kaspar can pick up anything you teach him in less than a minute. just show him how, and he'll be off doing it too. he doesn't need to understand the symantics or the politics of it all, as us more grown up people would fuss about. all he has to know is that it can be done... and that itself made the difference. every child to me... no matter the experiences they may have undergone... possess a type of innocence or clarity about the world. and even if it takes me forever to get there, i'm going to make sure that i have a hand... that EVERYONE has a hand... in preserving that. making sure that every child is safe... one kid at a time :D

so yes... i have an entire speech planned out should i get into medical school ;p but as i said... baby steps. so in the mean time... i have to work my ass off and ace as many exams in trinity as possible. drama is no exception... unfortunately ;p

since finding out that drama is a compulsory subject here at trinity, contributing to 30% of my overall english grade... only one thing came to mind - who do i have to kill to make this subject go away?! i can't act even if my life depended on it! all through secondary school, i was the one backstage writing up the script... i DO NOT belong on stage with the glaring lights. it's not that i get scared... heck ballet kicked all ounces of stage fright out of me... it was that i just don't - like -doing- it. the world is filled with enough fake people as it is... why add more? ;p but yeah... there was no working around it. after term 1 i was tailgating my drama class, getting the lowest score for the first assessment. then i figured that i had no choice. whether i liked it or not... i had to ace the subject to graduate. i had to put on the makeup... digest the lines... plaster on the fake emotions... and kick ass at it ;p so far, drama has accumulated 20%.

i got 19.75 out of it ;p

okay! i admit it! drama ain't as bad as i thought it was. granted i wanted to slit my wrists everytime rose came into the drama room all chirpy and excited about the weird 'drama-ish' games we were about to play. but the projects we've been given for our assessments have been fun. and since drama is a subject that prides itself of encouraging complete self-expression, i decided to play to my strengths. mom always said there were only three words to describe me - dark. twisted. complex. so in drama... i'm dark, twisted and complex :D and i've also learned something new! when on normal occasions i'd volunteer to do solo projects, the past semester has forced me to collaborate with others in group tasks. and i could not possibly ask for a better team both times! and it's been great!!! since last term, jason has been on my team and he's the best teammate anyone could ask for. talented and funny, he's always willing to try new things even at the cost of making himself look like a complete idiot! and we seem to function on the same frequency in our performances... so whenever i clam up or worry about how things are going to go on stage, all i've got to do is look at him and everything falls back into place.

this term was no different. last time me and jason took the comedic approach and got applauded for it. this time, with 2 other guest examiners sitting in, we didn't want to risk pulling off a half-hearted comedy (eventhough i know the jason mah fanclub would be up for whatever he performed ;p). so with our new team members, janice and ai vyn, we wrote up a play with the presented theme of betrayal. my character suffered from bipolar disorder and so i spent weeks laughing in the dark, rocking in a corner and consuming MANY bottles of juice to gain the sugar high ;p but it all paid off cause the play came off better than i could have hoped for. being in the first scene, i was the first one to be on stage with the lights and eyes on me. the adrenaline was awesome. before long the others had joined me and we relished in the thought of our last performance. the applause afterward was amazing... worth every painstaking hour we put into it. backstage jason was hugging me and jumping up and down in celebration. drama was truly over... in more ways than one :D cause after this... jason, along with all the singaporean boys like michael, robin, kenneth and nick, have to ship off to national service for 2 years. they'll be 19 before i see them again... and for michael, who's been my little brother over here... saying goodbye to him is something i'm not looking forward to.

spent the past couple of days watching everyone else's drama. ai-lynn's was before mine on wednesday... clearly reminding me that she is the queen of all emo performances, making me feel minutely small :p mark's was on thursday... that boy never ceases to amaze me when it comes to his drama... like a switch has been flicked, he goes from the sadistic and yet brilliant kid that he is, to anyone he wants to be ;p joel's was this morning, and in classic fashion he truly is artsy fartsy boy, taking pride in his role to the max ;p i missed jacq jacq's... but since her character was schizophrenic i have faith she pulled it off convincingly... she's been living with me the past 9 months hasn't she?! ;p and kevin's was the last one this afternoon... his performance was so scary i have to call him to hear his REAL voice everytime i watch the tape... never thought i could be immensely terrified and proud at the same time... but i am ;p

niways... it's getting late and i got heaps of psychology to get through. till my next post i'll probably be slogging it out with my books and cherishing the time i have left with my friends ;D

on december 9th 2005, mandarin oriental hotel in kuala lumpur played host to sri aman secondary girls' school's senior prom. conducted precisely one week after the completion of the spm examinations, the form 5 graduating class wasted no time in kicking back the books and cherishing their final moments together. before the real world beckoned.

... i spent my senior prom in the ladies' bathroom hiding...

on november 3rd 2006, trinity college had their annual ball at the grand hyatt hotel melbourne. marking the impending finals and imminent graduation for the 459 students that made up the february main intake. everyone dressed to impress with the thought that separation awaited all of them in approximately 30 days.

... i spent my college ball... having the time of my life ;p

___________________________________________________________________

i woke up on friday morning with a swarm of giant butterflies and grasshoppers jumping around in my tummy. after my weekly chemistry meeting with patricia, i rushed home to change before walking to the lecture theater. as usual, the boys had saved a seat for me in the second last row. and as usual, joel was in attendance eventhough he wasn't enrolled for the subject ;p regardless, i did my level best to comprehend as much 'green chemistry' as possible before going to the mess hall for lunch. all the while frantic that i hadn't completed the second friendship bracelet that made up kevin's 'prom trimmings'. after running home (yet again!) to grab my math books, i attended my maths 1 lecture... my final class for the day. by the time i walked out of the hall... i had the bracelet completed in my back pocket :D (how do i split my concentration? ;p) with my nerves not letting up, i watched the 4th season premiere of 'las vegas' for an hour before getting ready. after 2 panicked phonecalls to joel... who made it known that kevin was with him (talk about making it worse!)... i took the leap of faith (and doa lots and lots) and attempted to recreate the hair and makeup as shown by mom a week earlier.

by 6:35pm i had my dress on, my hair and makeup done and my tummy STILL hadn't let up! jacq came home from doing her hair at concept blue and was looking all gorgeous when the boys called and told me they were in the lobby (they had to wait a WHILE before we actually came down ;D). in typical movie fashion, us girls had to come down the stairs instead of taking the lift. knowing that joel had a surprise for her, i made jacq go down the steps first. all jacq had to do was peek her head around the banister and joel was already going nuts. amidst the 'oh my god's and 'damn!'s that joel was letting out for his beautiful date, i came down (on seriously shaky legs!) and saw kevin and mark standing in the corner. kevin was in his suit and mark was in a black samfu-ish shirt that made both of them look great nonetheless. kevin put a bright yellow corsage on my hand (that matched the flower in my hair!) and mark (which i didn't expect at all!) put a white one on. so yeah... i had two dates! ;p i gave kevin the friendship band i made... and to my relief he chose to wear it immediately. and no matter how corny it sounds... i wore mine too ;p

after dropping their bags up in jacq's room, all 5 of us walked out into the street (avoiding curious glares) to the horse-drawn carriage that waited on swanston street. it felt so surreal! i was jumping out of my skin all excited but hat to keep calm as i knew jacq (who was the only person who didn't know about our 'ride') was probably freaking out more. almost to the hotel i noticed joel and kevin trading glances at each other and nodding. joel searched in his jacket pocket and pulled out a grey box and handed it to jacq. kevin did the same and came up with a little parcel he put in my hand. as joel helped jacq put on her silver necklace, i opened my parcel up. inside was the most beautiful pair of earings... WHICH MATHCHED MY DRESS TOO! (i swear that boy has been poking around my room more than he let on!) i took off the blue earings i was wearing and put my new ones on ;D i still can't get over them.... kev, thank you so much!

before long we realised that there were FIVE carriages heading for hyatt. it felt like somewhat of a parade. the hotel entrance was swarmed with trinity students clad in their best. i lost my legs again when i got off the carriage. finally being there... all kinds of phobias introduced themselves. eugene and allynna arrived a few minutes after us and we walked into the hotel together. taking a few pictures with almost every girl screaming and trading compliments, i walked into the ballroom attached to kevin on my left... and mark on my right (i felt like a pimp :D, but a good one!) we met ai-lynn, li ern and wai yen, which completed our table, and made our way to table 26. the hall was decorated to impress. with the ball themed 'hollywood', the student committee pulled out all the stops... flowers and balloons in abundance.

prom was great. the music selection was superb and everyone was having a great time. not a single person recognised me on first glance... which worried the hell out of me! but a part of me knew that was a good thing. we took hundreds of pictures and lots with our teacher pat too, who decided at the last minute to join us (sorry your holiday got cancelled pat!). joel was all geared up to hit the dance floor (he ditched his crutch for the night and was walking perfectly on two legs! i'm so proud of you joe!). michael was the centre of attraction, ultimately winning best male dancer for the night. i made a round or two with jacq and lay leng, and even danced a bit with gavin before running back to the table. but all in all... the prom was fun. i got to spend one night off with great music and awesome company ;p

[me, ai-lynn, jacq, joel, kevin and mark... the people who make my day ;D]

[me and lilian]

[me an joel... my younger older brother ;p]

[me and mark... my partner in random crime ;p]

[me and michael... the puppy-dog little brother i'm gonna miss so much ;p]

[me, jacq and allynna]

[joel, me, kevin and mark... my three boys ;p]

the hall cleared out by 12.30am, as everyone decided on which of the three clubs to hit for the afterparty. me, kevin, mark, jacq, joel, allynna, eugene and jon decided to take the safe route and walked to crown for late-night cake at grecco. the 8 of us ended up ordering FIVE cakes... and for those of you who don't know... grecco's cakes are HUGE! after a few bites, allynna and jacq were on a massive sugar high and couldn't stop laughing. a great indicator that it was time to head home (and that it was almost 3am ;p). i called mom from crown and she sounded all excited about my fairytale night... if only she knew how painful my feet were though :( we shared a cab and dropped jon and eugene off at melbourne central and allynna at arrow before going back to nelson. we took one last picture in our suits, before changing out into our pyjamas to wait for sunrise. mark fell asleep the minute he hit the couch ;D but the rest of us stayed up till 5.30am before climbing up the access ladder to the rooftop. (and to be inventive... we jammed a calculator case in between the door so it wouldn't lock us out ;p)

with my laptop in my bag, me, jacq, joel and kevin sat by the railing and watched as the dark night sky became lighter and lighter. the stars peeled away and the sky was now tinted with shades of light blue and orange. hot air balloons filled the air too as some opted for an aerial view of the sunrise. but i was still restless. so i got up... turned my laptop on and played michael buble and nelly furtado's 'quando quando quando' on loop. with the sunrise in the background and the balloons high above us... me and kevin had our one slow dance ;p and yeah... jacq and joel were sniggering the whole time. the sun decided not to show itself clearly behind the clouds, so we climbed back down as the hour approached 7. taking thankful refuge in the warmth from the cold upstairs.

when we got back... mark was STILL asleep exactly where we left him. so we woke him up, dragged him to jacq's room, showed him the beanbag... and let him fall back to sleep. the rest of us had ice cream, hot chocolate and toast for breakfast... exchanging awes at the fact that prom was the night before.

joel made it public knowledge how amazing he thought jacq looked that night. and no matter how sweet that was... i wouldn't trade my moment for the world. at 4:30am waiting for light, well after prom was over. one word: beautiful ;D

it came one year late, but i had a memorable prom. i had a dress i was proud of, friends who turned me away from my hesitations, and dates that ensured i wasn't alone the entire night. so to mom, thanks for putting so much effort into helping me get my dress and tutoring me on the art of hair and makeup... i couldn't've looked how i did or had all the fun i had without you, mommy ;D to jacq, joel, allynna, eugene, ai-lynn, li ern and wai yen... thanks for making the prom special. and to mark and kevin... thanks for making my prom... mine :D

so here it is... for your viewing pleasure... the pics you missed last time...

photos during eap:

mark's daily implementation of torture...

the worst part about being shorter than mark tan... is that fighting back almost becomes impossible :(

after class... joel found himself being school-ed... by me ;D

... and don't worry... the post you've all been waiting for will be up soon ;D

yes... the title says it all... it is now officially 48 hours till trinity college's annual ball at grand hyatt hotel. which meant that today... was very very VERY long.

my usually 11-am-starting wednesday saw me out of the house for extra chemistry help at 9.30. after asking about how to properly name amine, amide and ammonium ion compounds (greek anyone?) and playing around with the ever adorable kasper nickel (my chem lecturer's 1-year-old son ;D), i ran off to my drama class and did a run through for our final drama exam. i don't think i have screamed, cried or jumped around so much over the span of 3 days in my entire life (my character is bipolar... so for all you people back home in kl... use your imagination... or just think of me on a sugar high ;p).

after drama was lunch, so as usual i picked mark up from his literature tutorial... at which point i bumped into kevin, and walked across the street to union house to met up with jacq and joel. for the first time in months, all 5 of us ate lunch in the courtyard opposite the old physics building, instead of having lunch illegally in the eap classroom! (and mark... it's too late to start a trend!)

eap started off with pat critising me and joel for listening to what she considered 'old-people-music'. apparently her 17-year-old son is doing it too. for according to her, people in 2006 shouldn't be listening to stuff from the 60's, 70's and 80's. and here me and joel were singing to ella fitzgerald and louis armstrong's 'can't take that away from me', which was playing from my laptop ;D. but no matter what she said... she was singing along to it before long :p

when everyone else left, the cameras came out and the 5 of us took full advantage of the space and the prospect of blackmail. a few minutes later pat came back to class to look for her keys and was dragged in too. pat's probably been the one constant in all of our lives. she's supported us and guided us through leaving home, getting used to the new education system, applying for uni and every other obstacle we've had to deal with this year. kind of like our surrogate mom ;D letting her go and saying goodbye in about a month is going to undoubtedly be one of the hardest things ANY of us have to do.

after class we were done for the day. so i had to run home to get my dress, whilst kevin and joel went to collins street to get joel's plane ticket validated. before that i managed to get joel into a headlock while kevin grabbed his camera. and yeah... whether you choose to admit it or not joe... i so kicked your butt :D

since mark is the only guy who's seen my dress, he followed me to the city to get the dress pressed by the dry cleaners. when we met up with joel and kevin, i had to dump mark's REALLY warm jacket over the dress to cover it up cause they were walking with their hands over their eyes! but before long... the warmth of the jacket took its effect on my arm... was dying to just shove the jacket at them and tell them to fly a kite ;D i was such a girl at the dry cleaners... i was terrified! i couldn't part with my dress! we ended up walking in a circle for 20 minutes to pacify me before i sent the dress in. the guess what... they said that i didn't need it pressed and gave the dress back! woohoo! i get to keep my 'baby' under lock and key and under my safe supervision till friday :D

tomorrow is going to get longer. with the class photo at 12.40, lunch with ridwan at 1 and dinner with allynna at 7, i'm going to have to be the energizer bunny to get through the day. DID I ALSO MENTION I HAVE FINALS IN 3 WEEKS THAT I NEED TO STUDY FOR?!

*sigh* 48 more hours till...

p/s: lots of the pics aren't loading so i'll try to load it up in the next one ;D

katyana azman
1 may 1988

i'm different... and it doesn't bother me one bit...

writing till the hours blur.
REALLY nice cars.
consuming as much dark chocolate as humanly possible.
listening and singing to songs till i know every word by heart.

being with the family and friends that make me happy.

jacqueline sim
joel lee
jacqui kong
camelia soo
samantha sim
syafiq azman

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