the epitomy of anticipation
Monday, May 14, 2007

so with the birthday season finally blowing over - for atleast another week or two - things have started to settle back down. classes have approached relative normalcy and days have proceeded to pass without specific intineraries or social schedules. basically... things are starting to quiet down... often to the point when i can actually hear the neurons firing impulses in my brain ;). with jacq, ai-lynn, mark and kevin studying for tests on thursday and friday, i've been 'instructed' to stay away at all costs. apparently, none of them can concentrate when i'm in the room! ;D even if i sit quietly in a rocking stupor by some isolated corner... they can't study with me around! how sad is that? not to their credit... but to mine, being such a distraction (more like noisy court-jester ;p) that information can't register in their brains by my mere presence. i feel like the haitian guy from heroes all of a sudden... hehehe...

but hey... if me keeping to myself helps them ace their exams... then it's all good by me. those kids have bailed me out plenty a time when work got too intimidating for me (i still call mark for chemistry advice!), and since a BSc curriculum doesn't happen to entail biochemistry, pharmacology, embryology and the like... it's the least i could do. but you guys know who to call when you need help with neuroanatomy and cognition... or when the chocolate fix comes knocking! ;p

so in the mean time... been spending lots of time watching alias re-runs on my laptop, tucked in bed with scruffy and max curled into a corner, and milk and cookies within reach. call it solitary bliss ;) for 15 months i'd been dependent on the presence of others to make me happy. granted, we were all living within walking distance of each other then, but still... company was a commodity i'd gotten accustomed to having. since moving to south yarra, a day out with my friends requires extensively advanced planning.... and money in the pocket :( therefore, as a new resolution following my 19th birthday, i'm trying to be happy on my own. ;) once upon a time i used to be content sitting in a corner with a book and my ipod, caring less about the ways of the world and attempting to inflict as little emotional distress to the people around me as possible. though that reality seems like a lifetime ago, i'm gravitating back to it. mom thinks i should start reading again... so i will... and i need to start stop biting my nails again (that promise went out the door with confidence when my essays got submitted ;p).

but today is undoubtedly a celebrated one! mom, hafiz, maktok and kak nur are arriving in approximately 6 hours!!! wooohooo! for three weeks i get to hang with my family and stock up on hugs! ;) no more running up to jacq asking for one! hehehe.... i am so excited there aren't even enough words to describe it. and since i missed mothers' day yesterday with mom being in kl and me over here, i got lots to make up for. and it all starts today...

what mom doesn't know is that i'm meeting her at the airport ;) she called last night to ask whether i was and i confidently said no ;p i know how restless she gets knowing i take a cab from wherever i am to tullamarine on my own. the few times i've picked her up have been in attendance of either ridwan or mark and kevin. but tonight's a school night, and with everyone living in or close to the city, i was prepared to make the journey alone this time. to make sure mom didn't make any transportation plans without me, i called hafiz to tell him i'd be at the airport when they arrived. so eventhough mom thinks i'll be waiting for her at chapel street, i can trust hafiz to ensure she doesn't board a maxicab and leave without me... i hope... ;p

with my chemistry lecture concluding at 4pm, i'll be stopping by the first available florist to get my standard order of a dozen yellow roses to bring for mom from me and fiz. estimating that i'll be home by no later than 5.30, i've got precisely 1 hour to finish cleaning the house before hizwan picks me up to go to the airport.

now i know what you're thinking. heck, when joe found out hizwan was driving me... he said the exact same thing. "DON'T USE THE BOY!" as flattered as i am that you consider me 'cohones-ed' enough to manipulate someone in such a manner, no... i'm not intentionally exploiting hiz's driving privelages. geographically, his house is closest to mine. so when hafiz suggested i call a friend to pacify mom in the event she finds out, i figured calling hizwan would be the most practical decision. amazingly, he agreed to come! better yet, when i told him he didn't have to drive, he argued that the cab fare i'd be paying is equivalent to a 2-week full tank of gas in his car... so he offered to drive me too! see! i am completely innocent in the matter... truly a victim of circumstance! hehehehe.... but seriously, i know you hate it when i incessantly thank you... but you're awesome hizwan... thanks for helping me out the past few weeks ;) and i'm still buying you dinner... live with it!

so yeah... as usual i have a few hours to kill until my lecture at 3pm. now on to the most pressing question... WHAT DO I EAT FOR LUNCH?! so many choices... so little time... yum yum yum ;)

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happy birthday saf!
Monday, May 07, 2007

HAPPY 19TH BIRTHDAY SAFIYYAH MOHSIN!


for those of you who don't know it, or just choose to ignore the fact, saf mohsin is probably one the sweetest girls to ever walk the earth... and she's an ever better friend ;)

i know i've missed so many birthdays already, but i hope you have a great one! you are an amazing person and all those who know you would vouch that they feel lucky for having done so! you've been with me through so much and have never once complained or turned away and i am truly thankful for that ;)

illinois is going to be so blessed to have you and i know you're going to mark there, just as you have here with all of us ;D

you let me come to melbourne to pursue my dreams... so i'm sending you off to do the same ;)

have a great birthday saf...

and i'll see you next month ;D

love you lots!

hug hug!


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.birthdays and EEGs.

the past couple of days have left me pretty much sleep-deprived. though comparing myself in the contexts of joel's definition of sleep-deprivation would be a crime... still... been pretty much exhausted this week. after my event-filled monday and tuesday... i apparently missed the memo regarding the party's extention till saturday night. not that i have any complaints! hell no! my birthday this year was nothing but spectacular and i have my amazing family and friends to thank for that ;)

realising that my intended movie marathon at hoyts on wednesday would burn a massive hole in my pocket, i decided to spend the day in bed watching alias re-runs with max. and to prove i have the coolest mom in the world... i called her when i got up... which was at about 1pm ;p instead of telling me to get out of bed... she said... and i quote... "order in some food... watch lots of alias... and DO NOT under any circumstances, get out of bed before 5pm!" yes ma'am! i have an awesome mom or what?! hehehe... but my sloth mode had to be switched off by 6pm when hizwan came over and hung out for a while...

it's strange how i never noticed it before. all this while, co-existing with my friends who've made it into melbourne uni, and being the only one fighting to get back in... i never realised how incapaciting it all can be. granted, i find myself terrified and doubtful 90% of the time, but i always believed that this matter wasn't even worth discussing. it's melbourne uni by february... and that's the end of it. hizwan's a great guy and an even more capable student (though he'd argue with me on that one ;p). but in the face of all the intimidation and expectations put upon us - mostly by ourselves - the possibility of failing again... of being disappointed again... becomes all to real. it was humanising sitting on the couch with him and just talking it out, with someone who actually gets it... something i haven't been able to do in a while. it's our harvard, right hizwan? and you owe me a hundred bucks if you're standing in melbourne uni 9 months from now with me! ;)

so after all that talk, we needed food ;p by 8pm we'd found a table at *drumroll*... ying thai! the infamous thai restaurant on lygon which had once become my usual hangout when i occupied the corner of grattan and cardigan street. it was so nice to be back in that part of town... almost poetic considering it was where i spent my birthday last year ;) thanks for the dinner hizwan... though you must know the only reason i didn't kick you was cause it was for my birthday! ;p deciding that we needed ice-cream too, we picked up our old friend safuraa (who is now joe's classmate! how cool is that?!), and went for some freddo's. we took some random pictures in the park before heading home at close to midnight.

thursday was a pretty slow day... classes as usual with one of my paper's being returned. though i scored above the average, it would have been SO much nicer to see a HD stamped on the front page instead of a C (which is a credit people... not the torturous mark the alphabet is usually associated with...). oh well... more trying required i suppose :(

friday was back to party mode! along with jack (kim fui), jacqueline, sam, her friends - raymond and jack chi - ken and mush, i managed to watch spiderman 3 THE DAY AFTER premiere! and how was the movie? worth the entire 2.5 hours and 11 dollars i put into it ;p plus, it was also the first time all year that i'd been in the city after midnight, thanks to a certain someone nice enough to drive me home at 2am. i've been left out of lots these past few months for living in south yarra, but for that one night i was allowed to be one of the other kids and cared less about when the trains and trams stopped running ;) talk about a perfect way to end my birthday week...

BUT WAIT!

2 hours after arriving home from the movies, jack tells me that i'm to have dinner with him and joel at 7pm the following night... their making it up to me for not being there on the night of the surprise visit. so on saturday night, me and the two boys had a great dinner at lemongrass on lygon ;) joe had to go back to work by 9, so jacqueline, sam and mark met up with me and jack at lygon park before walking to melbourne central and od-ed on more max brenner ;) jack was so interested with the sukaos that he ended up refilling the milk jar 3 times! good job jack ;) hehehe...

so yeah... my birthday ended up spanning almost a week. a week a longer than i had ever anticipated ;p and to cap it all off... my favourite lecturer was in attendence this morning... yay!

for over the past year, i've read about my best friend cammy's experiences at auckland university. in her posts, she often talks about a certain teacher by the name of colin quilter who has, even till now, influenced her and motivated her to take pride and truly love what she's doing. and in all honesty cam... i think you would've missed him if you'd gone to medical school with rory ;p hehehe. today... i realised that i have a 'colin quilter' of my own. and his name is alex mussap.

he's lectured in my introduction to psychology A lecture 3 times already, and each time he manages to get an entire theatre of close to 700 stading in applause upon conclusion. he makes topics like neuroanatomy and the study of concsiousness and brain activity so scintillating and even down-right hillarious at times, that it makes you want to just run home and pick up the textbook to start all over again! though i kicked myself for oversleeping and missing half his lecture today, i was really glad i made it for the remaining hour. it's through days like today, from classes like his, that i am made to forget about my obsession with melbourne uni.... but only for about 2 hours ;) and as always, i listened sadly as he told of all the things he plans to teach us as 2nd years. maybe i'll come back and sit in on his classes ;)

so yeah... that's my week in a REALLY LARGE nutshell ;p looking forward to mom and hafiz coming over next week and the pile of dishes i'll need to attack before then ;)

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.my amazing 19th birthday.
Tuesday, May 01, 2007

despite previous concerns and nightmares, i could not have possibly asked for a better 19th birthday. though the thought of having to spend such a significant date away from home each year tends to shroud me with mild annoyance, i realised that people only do the best they can. and this goes for birthdays too ;p


as mentioned in my last post, jacqueline had informed me of certain plans that had been made in my honour for tonight. so as i got home yesterday from school, i paced myself into cleaning the apartment that was still suffering from the post-apocalyptic essay season 2 weeks before. with no intention on vacuuming the floor or making the bed in the near future, i proceeded to the dreaded duty of dishes - being the most obvious cause of distress. but in between my cleaning and watching 'supernatural', joel came online and sent me a message... something the busy boy hadn't done in a LONG while. as we talked about my impending birthday, joe apologised for not being able to join the other kids in seeing me turn 19. my worries were confirmed, as the prospect of celebrating my birthday without him became more real. doing little to hide my annoyance... i went back to cleaning plates ;p. before long i started talking to sam, who was propped in front of her computer doing her eap assignment. naturally i decided to exploit the younger one for details regarding the plans her sister and the boys had made for me ;). though her training has proven effective and sam did little to leak out the truth, i was told that my intentions for evading harm would have to be done "quickly". ding ding ding... went alarm bell number one.

then shortly before 9pm, joe called and told me that he was visiting a friend across the street and that i needed to come down to the lobby to claim my birthday present from him. elated at the fact that i was going to be seeing him after so long, i grabbed my keys and ran into the lift without so much as a second thought. but as the lift approached the lobby... something occured to me. the building across the street was a serviced apartment... why would an enrolled rmit student be living in a serviced apartment? and what did sam mean by 'move quickly'?

as the doors opened, my heart was literally halted as multiple balloons were popped in my face. ai-lynn, jacq, mark and kevin were standing there to greet me, all the while laughing at my startled response (you people are evil... i love you guys... but you're evil!) ;p. as i hugged everyone thank you, my brain still hadn't processed the fact that joe wasn't around. a part of me though he was hiding behind a column somewhere to preserve the illusion, but ai-lynn explained that joe was at the the library working and the he wanted to make the call so i could have all my friends meeting me in the lobby... even if they weren't all physically there ;)


after being presented with a huge collage made up of messages, photos and poems and a cake box from brunneti's (always a good sign ;p), i hesitantly invited everyone back upstairs. it was ai-lynn's first visit to my new place and i kicked myself for having presented it in such horrid conditions (sorry ai-lynn! ). jacq produced a packet of balloons and proceeded to blow them up before engaging in a 'balloon fight' with mark on the couches. as i still fussed with my plates, kevin and ai-lynn lit up the cake and attempted to sing me happy birthday... eventhough it was 2 hours from midnight ;p only after blowing out the candles was it brought to my attention that jacq couldn't count... because my 19th bday cake only had 18 candles! (yes jacq... we believe your story about the one candle turning up on the floor ;p).


we settled into the living room and watched a show on sbs about human dissection, whereby donated cadavers are cut up and disembled on live television for all to see. how cool is it that after only 9 weeks into their first year, all 4 of them understood well enough to digest what was going on?! me... i didn't know they taught greek at melbourne uni... hehehe ;)


with public transport ending at close to midnight, ai-lynn, jacq, mark and kevin left at 11.30pm. towards midnight and well into the early hours of may 1st, i received phonecalls, smses and msn msgs from friends and family wishing me happy birthday. the best of all came from mom and hafiz at exactly 12am, singing me happy birthday like they would've should i have been in the room across the hall ;) to everyone who called me or messaged me to wish me a happy 19... thank you so much! i really appreciate all of you remembering and for those of you back home in kl... i miss you guys so much! we'll have a birthday repeat when i get back kay?
___________________________________________________________________

despite REALLY wanting to do otherwise, i got up today for school and attended my introduction to psychology A tutorial at 9am. after grabbing a large hot chocolate from my favourite place on campus, caffeine (where the coffee guy sees me so often he just needs to pass me my cup without even calling out my name ;p), i walked to meet katie and elyece at the 10am chemistry lecture... all the while massively high with a huge smile on my face ;) jack's mannequin was blasting in my ear... which helped too ;)

got home my 12 pm and let max out of her cage. adorably, the little one gave me a big hug when i saw her... and between that and spike's long happy birthday wish last night... my cats are awesome aren't they? ;p mom's birthday parcel arrived for me at close to 2pm. a huge bouquet of flowers, a chocolate cake and balloons! have i mentioned i have the coolest mom in the world? max may be scared of the helium balloons but i loved everything... thanks mommy ;) hope you had an 'up' day today!

chilled around in bed watching alias until 3 when mark called and told me he was locked out of the house ;p so i went down to the city and met him for max brenner till 5pm when his mom got home. despite your weird philosophies about me and the chocolate heaven that is max brenner mark... you had a belgian waffle so shush! ;p called jacq in between chocolate binges and was told to come by at 6 after she got back from the gym. though mark argued i should've followed jacq... WHO THE HECK GOES TO THE GYM WILLINGLY ON THEIR BIRTHDAY?! have i mentioned that boy is trying to kill me?

killed time at borders for an hour before meeting jacq and sam at their place before dinner. rather intimidatingly i watched as the two sisters studied for their exams... simultaneously! all i could do was sit in the corner between them and wonder how they've both managed to stay sane amidst the amount of prodogical talent that runs in that house! pass some brain cells to me please people!

but the nicest part of the night came when we met joel for dinner at universal. the three of us haven't been there since joe's birthday the year before and it was the first time we'd all seen each other in over a month. it's the first time i saw his newly shaven head! looks good on you joe... never thought i'd admit it but it does... who knew that crash bandicoot would adapt well as an 8 ball? ;p hehehe. but yeah... joe, jacq, me and sam indulged in an awesome italian dinner before walking the corner and heading home.


so yeah... i am now officially nineteen-years-old. eighteen was an amazing year. i learned so much and experienced so many firsts that i'm truly going to miss the security of it all. but if the past day is any indication of how the year is gonna be... everything is going to be awesome! i have an amazing family and terrific friends who i wouldn't trade for the world! and at 19... i can say that's pretty good;)

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may 1st 2007!


it's my birthday today!!

woohoo!

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.me.
katyana azman
1 may 1988

i'm different... and it doesn't bother me one bit...


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writing till the hours blur.
REALLY nice cars.
consuming as much dark chocolate as humanly possible.
listening and singing to songs till i know every word by heart.

being with the family and friends that make me happy.

making a difference

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jacqueline sim
joel lee
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my old blog


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Katyana's bookshelf: currently-reading

SwitchedBeautiful CreaturesEvernightMockingjayFalling From GraceWisdom

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books i've read

Switched
Beautiful Creatures
Evernight
Mockingjay
Falling From Grace
Wisdom
Flutter
Fate
My Blood Approves
Hush, Hush
Shadowland
Blue Moon
Evermore
Catching Fire
Spirit Bound
Blood Promise
Shadow Kiss (Vampire Academy, #3)
Frostbite (Vampire Academy, #2)
Vampire Academy
To Be a Mother: Single Father


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