if i didn't have a reason to love deakin already...
Thursday, March 11, 2010
"when things get bad, it means the shit has hit the fan. and that's okay... because it happens. but eventually you'll wake up and realise that you're getting the hang of it. THAT or you've just run out of shit... either way it gets better!"
-dr. alex mussap
lecturer, deakin university
lecturer, deakin university
"are any of you smart?" (silence) "okay... are any of you stupid?" (confused... but still silent) "are any of you not supposed to be here?" (silence) "did any of you trick the university into letting you in here for fourth year?" (silence) "okay, so if you're all supposed to be here, and neither one of you tricked the uni for entrance, i can deduce that all of you earned your places. correct?" (vague nods) "you... beat 1,000 applicants to be here. you ARE the elite population of this university. i could walk out onto burwood highway and pluck 100 people randomly off the road and that total would not come anywhere near the calibre of intelligence that sits in this room before me. and because you are sitting in those seats, you deserve to be here."
"(about stats) i know you're scared. i know you're worried that you might not be able to get it. so i'm telling you this, not to make an ass of myself - though i do that superbly already - but to make a point. i'm dyslexic. i have been my entire life. you will be receiving notices from me throughout the year about the unit with appaulingly bad spelling because of it. i was bumped from one school to the next growing up because experts dubbed me a fool. and now this fool is an associate professor at deakin university lecturing on research methods. we have established that each and every one of you is smart. and if a fool like me can get this subject, you certainly can. and i swear to do everything in my power to help you."
"(about stats) i know you're scared. i know you're worried that you might not be able to get it. so i'm telling you this, not to make an ass of myself - though i do that superbly already - but to make a point. i'm dyslexic. i have been my entire life. you will be receiving notices from me throughout the year about the unit with appaulingly bad spelling because of it. i was bumped from one school to the next growing up because experts dubbed me a fool. and now this fool is an associate professor at deakin university lecturing on research methods. we have established that each and every one of you is smart. and if a fool like me can get this subject, you certainly can. and i swear to do everything in my power to help you."
-dr. mark stokes
lecturer, deakin univeristy
lecturer, deakin univeristy
on monday, the collective of fourth year psychology students started their first day at uni. it didn't matter if we were enrolled in the undergrad honours program or the postgraduate diploma program - we were among the massive minority and the stress of living up to those expectations was evident everywhere i looked. i dreaded the coming year and seriously doubted whether i even bleonged there - among the class of deakin's 'brilliant ones'.
but instead of jumping right into the curicullum... instead of patting us on the back and throwing the work at us, having assumed our competence... alex and mark each took half an hour from their introductory lectures to comfort us. to remind us that the overwhelming fear fades. and that despite our supposed position in the student hierarchy, they intended to guide us every step of the way.
once again, deakin took the time to address us not as a class of fourth-years... but as individual kids. kids who are guilty of having no confidence despite our grades... and immensely terrified of the vastly approaching future ahead. at deakin i know i'm not just a face in a crowd...
and for that i will always be grateful ;)
but instead of jumping right into the curicullum... instead of patting us on the back and throwing the work at us, having assumed our competence... alex and mark each took half an hour from their introductory lectures to comfort us. to remind us that the overwhelming fear fades. and that despite our supposed position in the student hierarchy, they intended to guide us every step of the way.
once again, deakin took the time to address us not as a class of fourth-years... but as individual kids. kids who are guilty of having no confidence despite our grades... and immensely terrified of the vastly approaching future ahead. at deakin i know i'm not just a face in a crowd...
and for that i will always be grateful ;)
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here we go...
Friday, March 05, 2010
behold, my coming trimester! sigh...not as bad as many others i suppose... but it's like the school was trying to give me another reason to detest mondays ^^
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definitely not in kansas anymore!
i contemplated writing a lengthy recap to make up for the month-long hiatus i'd subjected this blog to. but since it's close to 1am, my writing faculties have evidently gone home for the day and i'm finding it increasingly difficult to string two coherent sentences together without turning back and erasing entire paragraphs. so i'll just stick to dot-points for tonight ;)
- i'm back in melbourne - have been for almost two weeks now. leaving kl was the closest thing to hell i've experienced in my lifetime. i cried when i reached central (which is literally 10 minutes after leaving my house)... cried some more when i boarded the plane... intermittently (and i by that i mean throughout) during the 8 hour flight... and consecutively for the last week. it seems going back home for as long as i did severed the attachment i'd made with melbourne over the last few years. my apartment no longer felt like home and i was still riding on the generic 'holiday-feeling' you get when you visit a foreign country. even my school lost all vestiges of familiarity, as i found myself horrifically seeing the benefits of packing up and moving back home for good. these last couple of weeks have genuinely schooled me on the true meaning of home sickness... a plague that in its briefness reminds us of what's truly important in life - but in severity make you hover slightly north of invalid status. i spent days curled up on my sofa because the house felt too strange from the bedroom i'd spent the last 3 years decorating (since it's about the only space in the apartment i have creative control over ;p). i slept whenever i could and occupied my waking hours staring blankly at the ceiling. the tv stayed on, though for the life of me i couldn't recall what was showing. i'm a graduated psychology major... but i didn't need my degree to tell me something was seriously messed up.
- thankfully the worst has passed and i'm back in my room again ^^ it took me 2 weeks to get over being homesick this time, the longest i've suffered in quite a while. i threw myself into prepping for gamsat and getting the house reorganised - which helped distract me and lessen the depression somewhat. max came home today too... which will definitely mark some improvements in my mood ;)
- i'm still sticking to the eating plan. it's alot harder to do now that i'm alone, since my age-old habit of skipping meals threatens to rear its head everytime i run out of groceries or merely oversleep in the mornings. mom's gotten me to swear that i'll go shopping on a weekly basis just to make sure i'm not skimping on food for convenience. i'm 6kgs down and only a kilo away from the 10% i promised my doctor in january ;)
- school hasn't started though i've attended the enrolment days and locked in my research preferences. eventhough the projects we undertake this year in no way confine us to a major for specialisation, i wanted to sign up for a topic that kept me within the clinical environments that i was comfortable with. ironically enough, most of the subjects that were listed where based on disorders that i have personal experience with! that means one of two things for me: that either those disorders are becoming increasingly prevalent within our asian society... or that i basically know alot of very sick people ^^. my first choice is a research project by dr. mark stokes on mirror neurons in the brain and autism. eventhough i'd probably be more confident in the project relating to OCD and depression, i liked the idea of working on this particular project because it stays true to my love for neuro and potentially shedding light on a disorder that affects 1 in 160 babies - and yet very little is known about it still.
- the gamsat is 2 weeks away. objectively i know i'm not prepared for it... and thinking about my lack of preparedness sends me into a frenzy most days. this exam literally determines the rest of my life and the fact that i still have the time to type up my blog at this hour when my chemistry text book lays open next to me is an astounding fact all on its own. haha! but i'm determined to stay calm and kick ass in the papers as best i can ;)
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