.ramdom.
it's been my source of comfort and security for almost 10 years... but i'm putting an end to it right now!
i've decided to stop biting my nails ;)
for those of you of don't know me very well... you may be wondering why such a feat deserves blogging recognition, but for my dear family and friends back in kl and here in melbourne... this set of news comes as a MUCH welcomed relief!
i've tried to stop multiple times, but each effort was hampered by an overload of stress or just the absence of someone to remind me of my latest conquest. last year i promised myself that melbourne uni would be my deciding factor. if i got in... i'd stop cold turkey ;) mark helped, always pulling my hand away whenever he caught me attemping to bite away whatever is left of my pitiful cuticles. but plans were diverted and i ended up NOT going to melbourne uni and NOT having mark around everyday to remind me. so i said... what the hell? i get another year to enjoy this nasty habit before putting a stop to it.
however, it's gone 4 months into the new year and i think a re-vamp of the old promise is in order. you see... back when i was 15... i painted all my nails with black nail polish over the december holidays. and miraculously, after having tired EVERYTHING IN THE WORLD to try and stop, i actually did! my nails grew back and i was almost certain that i'd stopped the habit for good. unfortunately, since it was against the rules to have your nails painted back in sri aman, the nail polish came off by january... and so was my new reform. with a vengeance, i was back to nail-biting and haven't come up for air since.
i'll be 19 in about three weeks... but over the past year, i've experienced more than i ever did over over that span of time. i got sick and hospitalised for the first time in recollective memory... okay second time, but the first time doesn't count cause i was only in there for a day ;p anyway... that entire event, being hooked up to machines and having tubes run in and out of everywhere, it got me thinking about just how fragile human beings really are. i mean... i was never the sick one. i had the occasionaly flu and fever, but even with the most serious of diseases, i was let off alot sooner than most. and not to say that that isn't a cause for gratitude, but you sometimes take it for granted. you put yourself in harm's way - deliberately - because you think that your track record allows for such cockyness. but the truth is... EVERYONE gets hit with fate and bad luck, and especially mortality atleast once in their lifetime.
being in the hospital humanised me. i was in there for something that my family considered me too young to have. but hey... i was there anyway. and i am not eager to invite fate and trouble into my company in the near future!
so as i look down at my horribly affected fingers, and contemplate of how much bigger an invitation i could possibly be throwing the-powers-that-be to mess me up again, i say enough! i've painted my nails black again, and with uni not giving me a hard time about anything other than grades, i forsee a great outcome ;)
it's been 5 days since i last tried... and my friends over here are jumping for joy. i even got a clap from mark yesterday :D but yeah... i've decided to stop biting my nails!
i chose normal ;D
